My poem/prose: Brown Blood White Skin

Identity: This is a creative response to Navigating Spaces by Grace Taylor.
I explore the idea of cultural confusion that comes with being of two different races and trying to find that comfort of being in between.

Brown Blood Whit Skin

I had never really known how it was that I had come to be,
I thought myself a puzzle, someone had taken four pieces
of four different jigsaws and tried their best to fit them with one another.
'Where I'm from everyone exists within differences, nameless'.

Colonialism, some puzzle pieces were larger then others so they took up all the space
coming from afar to take an entire race.
Marginal-ism, some were so much stronger then the others,
so they pushed everyone else away.
Egotism, some thought themselves smarter so they sat tall,
All coming together in a place that was too small.

I am Samoan, Chinese, American and German.
I am the product of colonialism.
If the history of my island were to have a face,
it would look like mine.
Huge brown eyes standing shallow amongst the white of my skin,
like my insides are trying to get out,
spread themselves smooth over my fare complexion.
'Where I'm from, I am the brownest of the white and the whitest of the brown'.

I fight inside that messy in-between
of being proud and being confused.
Of being home but standing outside.
To embrace the thick air that my Samoan blood revels in,
 or to feel the sting of frost that my European pigments adore.
'Uncertain in my uncertainty, beautiful in my uncomfortable, all for you on display.
Where I'm from, a relatives twelve years in the meeting, the furthest from me, yet the the identity most assigned to me that colonised my other half. Irony smiles'.

I have many nations residing in my single body,
though there is no place for me in any one of them.
There is a solid place for me in all of them.
You can't separate your fingers from your hand,
or your toes from your feet without being disabled in some way.
As you can't separate one culture from the other within you,for  the latter will suffer.
You can't try to belong to only one, if you truly belong to many.
You must embrace them all.
You were born with perfectly formed hands and feet, be thankful.
You born with an interesting blend of flavours, sour spicy salty and sweet.
Be thankful.
'Where I'm from I am always half, but half for me means full. I am a race within a race'.

Where I live now, mirrors who I am inside.
This land is of the world, but the world is also in this land.
A kaleidoscope of colour and countless structures of varying facial features.
Beautiful.
Different tongues spoken, different greetings, different embraces.
But all live together in a long great land.
Whole
God of nations at thy feet, I look into the ground and see my face.
Autearoa, this is where we all come together.
Where all my cultures run through the streets like they run through my veins.
One.
'Where I am from, the language of indigenous licks every ear. And culture is not a tourist attraction, 
it-just-is. Where I'e from breaths the largest population of pacific people away from their home land, yet we can trace bloodlines two generations back... Where I am from is always my future, because I am not one, I am of a people'.

I am Samaon, Chinese, American and German, but I was born in New Zealand.
This is where I come from and where I am from.
'Where I'm from you've gotta know where you're from. Because no-one else will'.

The Bush Kanaka Speaks

Kumalau Tawali

‘The Bush Kanaka Speaks’ is a poem published in 1972 by author Kamalau Tawali, a former graduate of the University of Papua New Guinea and current Director of the Institute of Papua New Guinea Studies.

What is most evident within the text are the power structures. White men essentially forcing their culture onto the indigenous peoples or the bush kanaka, who are resisting these forces with not much success. Particularly in the beginning of the text we can see that the post colonial literature has been given the indigenous perspective. These ‘white men’ are getting themselves stressed out and yelling and screaming at the indigenous men.

“The kiap shouts at us

forcing the veins to stand out in his neck

nearly forcing the excreta out of his bottom”

These lines make it clear that there is some kind of superior or dominant attitude coming from the white people. Even though it seems like this man who is talking within the poem doesn't have a very high opinion of himself, he is still under this control, he is still working under this white kiap. This idea comes up again and again within the literature, the superior/inferior attitude where the kiap is essentially saying that these people are living in primitive and underdeveloped places that are therefore less than.

“He says: you are dirty”

“He says we live in dirty rubbish houses”

“He says: you’ll get sick”

It conveys this message or idea that the white kiap are so much more obsessed with hygiene and sickness and it’s all sort of looking down at another person’s way of living.

“Haven’t I eaten such food all my life,

And I haven’t died yet?

Maybe his stomach is tender like a child’s

born yesterday. I’m sure he couldn't

eat our food without getting sick.” 

Saved

Saved

‘Saved’ is a poem written by Jon Jonassen. He is a writer born on Rarotonga, Cook Islands in 1949 and he is educated in Cook Islands, New Zealand and Hawaii. The poem is written in plainspoken English and includes a lot of sarcastic language and satire. The plot is about the British and New Zealand colonization of the Cook Islands, and the locals’ perspective on it.

            The poem begins with: “God save the Queen, at last the British have come”. This is a satirical reference to the national anthem of Great Britain and to the establishment of Rarotonga, later Cook Islands, as a British protectorate in 1888. The Jack is mentioned and it says it “was flown by Ariki Nui Makea”. It’s probably a play on words, referring to the British flag, which is called the Union Jack. Ariki Nui Makea means the queen of Nui Makea, which was a chiefdom on Rarotonga. That sentence also refers to the fact that a chiefess on Rarotonga encouraged the British to make the island a British protectorate. The reason for this becomes clear in the last sentence of the first paragraph: “in fear of the French”. They were afraid of French expansionism in the area.

            In the second paragraph the satire continues with: “Praise them Kiwi men”. It refers to New Zealand’s annexation of Rarotonga in 1900. The writer also mentions the name change that took place in 1893 to Cook Islands. It is written in a way which implies that the inhabitants of the islands weren’t included in that decision: ”to lump them all together, and call them Cook Islands”. It’s a valid argument since the decision to annex the islands was taken in the New Zealand parliament and not on the Cook Islands. In the last paragraph the writer states his pity for the locals’ position: “sorry for the locals who never had a say”. Thereafter he continues to express how the colonists only used the locals as a bargaining chip.

The poem is an example of post-colonial literature that tries to write back to the center, by putting the feelings and perspective of the locals in the center of the discussion. It tries to explain how the colonization felt for the locals of the Cook Islands. From the locals’ perspective it describes that the colonists made the decisions about their country with total disregard for what they wanted. That is a well-founded argument and I would continue it by claiming that the locals were very much marginalized in their own country. One could argue that the writer agrees by looking at the last sentences, where he sarcastically states that the locals were only “a card on the table, useful when needed”. It is important to point out that this is how the colonist looked at the locals, and probably not how the writer looks at them. On the one hand I doubt that he considers them so passive since that is a typical Eurocentric view. On the other hand it is possible that the writer feels that the locals were helpless to do anything. If that’s the fact it shows how mental colonization works, even after colonialism is over. The belief that one group is considered better and stronger than themselves doesn’t disappear overnight, and could still affect the mindset of the writer. 

Immigration

The short story <The Unfinished Fence> make me feel sad. I think there are two main weapons kills Jimi in this story, one is Jimi canoot fit himself into this New Zealand European-dominated society, one is the stereotype of islanders by some white people. In the story, Jimi is always missing his home country Fiji, the letter from his wife is his "only consolation in an unfriendly country". I am also an immigrant as Jimi, he is from Fiji, I am from China, but I think I can understand his feelings very well. Missing the homecoutry is a hopeless feeling, my Chinese friend used to describe the feeling about missing China as "as if been drowned". It sounds very sharp, but I actually quite agree. Living in European-dominated country, I always feel I am an outsider, and I have no where to escape. I have to accept the fact that I am an outsider and I am marginalised. This sort of feeling does not always come to me, but when it comes, it can totally destroy my mood.

As we learnt in class about the Pacific immigration mainly come to New Zealand for a better education and better career, I think to persue a better education and career would be one main reasons for all the immigration in the world. Jimi's feeling of loneliness in New Zealand can reflect a theme that can apply to the world setting about immigrations find hard to fit into the new country. I have some Chinese friends go to study in Singapore, America, they all tell me they miss China very much. I also have Iran, Japanese friends who are studying in New Zealand, they tell that they miss their home coutry.  Feeling lonely, feeling marginalised, it is one of the reason causing Jimi's suicide. Because under this loneliness, Jimi became very sensitive, so he choose to end his life after been insulted.

I researched about the 1970s dawn raid we learnt in class, and I find it miserable. Pacific overstayers are caught in those sudden raid, and been prosecuted. This is serious racism and deep insult to Pacific people. Economic downturn is not a good reason for government to do this, I don't understand why there is not an alternative to solve the overstay problems. Jimi is a Pacific descedant, so he should know this part of sad history. When he is insulted by the two white policemen, he does not protest, does not forgive either, but chooses to end his life. I think Jimi is feeling that racism has never stopped against Pacific people, he cannot see any hope, therefore he chooses death to avoid this unfair world. I feel so sorry for Jimi, this is a very sad story.

Kidnapped

The poem ‘Kidnapped’ was written in 1974 by Ruperake Petaia. He was born on April 11 in 1951 and he is a poet and writer from Samoa who studied at the University of the South Pacific. Western Samoa had been a German and a New Zealand colony before they gained their independence in 1962. Eastern Samoa was colonized by the Americans and is still an American territory.

The poem is written in ordinary plainspoken English, a vernacular voiced poem. It is written from the point of view of a boy, we can assume is from the pacific and probably Petaia himself, which is taking a western education. The poem explores themes about the effects of colonialism and Western influences on Samoan culture and society, it voices the perspective of the colonized and rejects the ideologies of Western imperialism. The text is very satirical and it includes many metaphors. The title “Kidnapped” is a metaphor for when the boy started school, implying that the western teachers (colonists) stole him from his home and family. The ”threats” his parents received and the “ransom fees” they paid are metaphors for letters with bills and school tuition fee. The satire is used to criticize the western education system. He felt like he was forced to take an expensive western education that took him away from his culture. Petaia uses phrases like “Mama and Papa grew poorer and poorer” and “I grew whiter and whiter”. It expresses his frustration over learning from the colonizers at the cost of the loss of traditional Samoan knowledge.

He makes references to politicians like Churchill, Garibaldi, Hitler and Mao. I get the impression that he doesn’t feel that learning about them is relevant to his life. But when he refers to Guevara he says “Guevara pointed a revolution at my brains”. It could be an indication that he felt like revolutionizing against the colonists in his own country.

In the last paragraph of the poem he talks satirical about his “release fifteen years after” from school to “applause from fellow victims”, referring to the other students, with “a piece of paper certifying my release”. It sounds like he is bitter and angry for having spent so much time in the schools and that all he gained from it was a diploma.

The poem explores themes about the effects of colonialism and Western influences on Samoan culture and society, it voices the perspective of the colonized and rejects the ideologies of Western imperialism. One can argue that another theme is psychological colonization. The boy was pressured to take a western education, his parents had to pay for it and the things he learned there probably didn’t reflect his Samoan culture and traditions. A young boy born in the pacific is pushed towards the same mindset as the people from the west that has colonized his home, when he really wants to learn traditional Samoan knowledge. That is a good example of psychological colonization and marginalization of his culture.

            At last I want to mention that Petaia only focuses on the negatives of western education, and not the positives. Although he didn’t want the education and he feels like it took him away from his own culture, it can help him get a good job and it provides knowledge he wouldn’t have learned without taking western education.

The unfinished fence and a long story behind it

Migration is no longer a new term nowadays as many people move to another country and they don’t move for the same reasons. Some people move because they have gotten better jobs, some want to change their lifestyles or some want to reunite with their families. For whatever reason, living in a country with total different cultural background and a foreign language is definitely not an easy thing to adapt to. Moreover, those migrants also face many problems in dealing with new life, new people and new environment. New Zealand is one of the countries with high migration rates and there are so many stories told by people in New Zealand, which is based on their own immigration experience and they remind us that all New Zealanders have a migration story somewhere in thepast. 

***

The unfinished fence
The story is about a Fijian man named Jimi, who came to New Zealand to work even though he was on his three-month tourist visa. The first impression about this man is that he was a devoted family man, who tried to work hard and earn money to send back home. Moreover, he was also a loving husband and a good father as he always thought of his wife and his two children, "he replied to every latter she wrote, always mentioning how much he missed her and how much he longed to return. His wife's letter were his only consolation in an unfriendly country". His sentiment about the new place was possibly based on his dull work schedule ("began at eight o'clock and ended at five, Mondays to Fridays"), his loneliness because he had no close friends or family here but this is a typical things that happens a lot to immigrants, who move to a foreign country where everything is so strange and unfamiliar to them.

The main purpose for them to come here is to work and get the money to send back home, where the living condition is not as good as it in the new place and they think that they can overcome any difficulties to reach the goals they set but sometimes, it’s extremely hard to live by themselves in a new place, surrounded with “strange and indifferent people”, as Jimi had wondered “What if he died while walking on the street! Would someone pick him up? The people all seemed so impersonal to him…” Immigrants like Jimi, especially people who do not have any relatives or family being by their sides in a strange place, always worry about things like that. They worry about getting sick with no one taking care of them and most of all, they worry about getting accidents and dying alone. It's so scary just thinking about it because as a human being, we always want to spend our last moments of our lives in a familiar place with our beloved people around us. No one would ever want to die alone, unless they have to.
Everything here is just so different to Jimi. He felt sorry for Mrs Davidson, the old lady who lived alone on her own and she was also Jimi's employer. While "money she had lots of", she "lived alone in her huge and lonely mansion" because her husband died in the Navy and her children "preferred to live miles away" and "satisfied by sending her money every two weeks". To a man with strong relationship with his wife and children and who has a close-knit family like Jimi, it's obviously hard to understand how people have money but still be lonely. It may be called the culture shock when someone comes to a country with total different cultural background and they find it hard to adapt to it quickly. It may be the way people here they do for a very long time but to Jimi, leaving a mother living alone on her own is something that seems hard to accept. And Jimi somehow was a person who made Mrs. Davidson felt less lonely as he talked to her, had morning tea as "she found a sympathetic ear in Jimi and they often talked for hours". We can see Jimi as a kind man with a good heart as he did things for Mrs. Davidson not only for getting paid but also for making the old lady feel good. Part of his job was to collect the old lady's mail but "Jimi enjoyed doing this because he loved to watch the expression on Mrs. Davidson's face, and he loved to think that he was partly responsible for the happiness of this old lady". This is the excerpt I like the most in the story as it brings the warm affection to the readers seeing the bond between two people from two different countries, two different cultures but they take care of and help each other out.

***

Jimi's story and thoughts remind me of the stories of my fellas, who used to overstay in a foreign country. They told me about their constant worries of getting caught by the police, of being deported and they live every day in the fear of being found out by the authorities and finally being sent back to their home country. Homesickness and the loneliness are not the only things they have to face.They could never be able to truly enjoy their time, mainly because they are always haunted by the fears. They do not harm anybody, but well, at the end, overstaying is illegal and no one is going to protect them if they are found out so they always have to live in the shadow, which is never easy. They have no healthcare. They are underpaid at work. They have to be careful every time someone asks them for their ID. I was thinking to myself "What kind of life is that? When you always have to live in fears and never have your real freedom?" But then I realized, not everyone is as lucky as I am, to be a legal resident in a foreign country. Feeling free to reveal who they are is a luxurious thing that sometimes they have to get with a high price.
And that was what happened to Jimi.
"Jimi stumbled up his steps. He got the key from his pocket, pushed the door and slammed it hard. He leaned on the door, panting.His knees shook; he slumped on a chair". 
At that time...
"He felt a strong urge to relieve himself" and "His mind, his senses seemed to have come alive". This was the moment for him to make a decision. "Jimi jumped".
We never find out about the end of the story to see whether Jimi was caught by those three men or he can escape from their chase but apparently, Jimi will face many difficulties in both situations. If he got caught, he would definitely be deported back to the place he had come from. If he escaped successfully then his days ahead will be buried in fears and insecurities as he knew the police was always searching for him.

***

Even though it's quite a short story with not so many details but it does say a lot about a man's thoughts, feelings and things happened to him when he newly migrated in a country where everything seemed so unfamiliar and everybody was indifferent to him. The story makes me think about many people out there, who are living in a strange country with no family and relatives, who are struggling every single day to make ends meet with the dream that they somehow could help their family out or bring their children a better life.
And I truly hope that one day, all the men like Jimi will find the way to be legally accepted by the country then they can work and never need to worry about hiding or running away from police and the authorities.

New Hebrides / Niuhebridis

Albert Leomala

Immediately we can see how English has influenced the language developed and used by Albert Leomala in this poem. Both the indigenous and the English versions of the poem start with the line “niuhebridis niuhebridis”, which is an indigenous term from Vanuatu. When looking at the second line in the first stanza the author says “you drink wine”, “yu tring waen” and then “and you drink whisky”, “mo yu tring wiski”. The similarities between both versions of the text are undeniable; however this English influence is evident in some words more than others. For example “who’s gonna eat them” and “hu bambae i kakae frok”, it almost impossible to distinguish any English within the indigenous terms.

Albert uses a great deal of imagery in this poem and I think it works well with the language to reference some of the influences of colonisation, such as alcohol. In the first stanza Albert states “you drink wine and you drink whisky but you hate kava” and following this in the second stanza “for they want to plant kava on your land and they want you to drink it”. It seems as though Albert is countering the use of the term ‘whisky’ by mentioning the local and culturally important drink of choice ‘kava’. The way in which he references the term kava within each stanza gives us the impression that the drink has so much more significance to both him and the people of the pacific beyond its intoxicating abilities.

Communicated throughout the poem is a sense of loss. “you have plenty of children but you hate them”, to me this is an extremely powerful, but also very sad line. It contrasts well with the line “because of all your black children ... drink it”, as for me it implies that there is this feeling among the indigenous people that there is a loss or a wanting to go back to something that they are missing that was before. In the third stanza Albert states “i wasn’t born in rhine but in kolo”. This line conveys that Albert is unable to relate to the colonial culture and that the pacific and its people are grieving. “come back to the black child he’s patiently waiting for you” waiting in a sense that these people will always be there.